A gift from the Gods...

Wow, what a practice. So much more than expected was possible. Today I focused on primary. It was possible to take my legs behind my head, one after the other. But I thought the pose was lost. I thought it would take years to get back to this pose. Yep, the leg didn't stay there, I had to hold it.

I could do chakrasana and setu bandhasana. It was not possible to hold it for a long time. Of course not, because I lost strength. Incredible that it was possible, but it was.

I alter primary to my needs. Vinyasas are practised only after an asana and not between sides. I also group asanas. Quality over quantity. 70 intensive minutes on the mat are enough. It's better to practice correctly than whipping oneself through too many poses and vinyasas.

Last night I couldn't sleep in. After midnight I got up again and opened my flickr account. I got so enthusiastic about my pictures. So much was possible already. It so motivated me. I'll get back to this, was my thought. This is possible. I love to see my body in crazy asanas.

Today the focus was forward bending. Tomorrow I'll focus on back bending, that is second series mainly. But I want to get back to the full series as soon as possible.

Wow, miracle happen. I needed such a practice like today.

This morning I got up and my back felt good. This was new, too. This helped.

I lean back and enjoy this gift from heaven.

I remember my physio therapist: work on strength, too. Yes, I won't forget this. A post on Calisthenics will come soon

Kino's May challenge is over

Kino's May challenge motivated me to practise, sometimes I only took some pictures, but this too meant that I had to move and to practise. It was not always easy to find time for a shooting, but I didn't like to omit an asana. Tomorrow is still another pose on the list, the relaxing pose. As it's difficult to show 31 pictures in one pictures, I'm happy with the 30 pictures in one picture only.

I'm still so disappointed. So many poses are lost. My back pain gets better and better, but it's still there. I have no disciplined morning routine anymore. I fight to stay motivated, but often I give priority to other activities. What shall motivate myself now as the May challenge is over? I have to find something......

I'm glad that more and more also advanced yogis point at the rigidness of today's teaching of Ashtanga yoga. I got injured because of this, after decades of intensive yoga practise. The only way out of this valley is to practise and to adjust the practise to my needs. Less complaining, more action.

How long will I be able to sit here without pain in the back again, I wonder.

However, I have to find a way out of this crises, I have to. One has to move to stay healthy. I'll alter my practise, for sure.

- more back bending
- less vinyasas
- strength training

And I want to get back to a daily yoga routine. It's not a satisfying yoga practise when I stretch while watching TV.

It's the concentration, the focus that makes yoga so interesting.

Tomorrow is another opportunity to step on the mat. Might it happen. At 7am.
To focus on second series, could be a good idea.

Taking pictures for Instagram

Today I took pictures during my practise. This interrupts the flow. Yet pictures give me feed-back. And I needed some more pictures for Kino's challenge on Instagram: #mayibeginyoga2016 .

My SI joint and the muscles around are still under stress. That's why I skipped the practise yesterday. Today I practiced one hour. This is so perfect. All asanas will improve with time. I'll get back to my flexibility and strength, too. It's important to enjoy the practise. Sometimes a shorter joyful practise is better than a long one that hurt too much.

Today I wanted to go to a Mysore class. I'm so out of my rhythm. I read till midnight. Of course I'm tired then in the morning. It seems impossible to get up at 7am. In order to be on time at a Mysore class I must get up at 5am. So tomorrow I'll get up at 6am. This is the plan. And the day after tomorrow I might be ready again to get up at 5am without an awful 'Jetlag'. It makes no sense to be tired on the mat.
To get to classes again means to leave my comfort zone. On the other hand I could need that kick that I usually get from group sessions.

Sleep is so important. We need 8 hours or more.
Healthy food is so important, too.

Being a yogini is a life style. Nothing else.

Zero pain tolerance

Today I had zero pain tolerance. After 30 min on the mat I gave up. Last night I had slept very bad. I have the feeling I was longer awake than in deep relaxing sleep status. After 2am I got up and I was some time online. This morning I was tired. Sleep deprivation lowers the pain tolerance for sure.
That I gave up after 30 min doesn't convince me.

This early afternoon I'll have another session at the physio therapist. Shall she press out the pain. It's the muscles that hurt. She knows no mercy. She does what is necessary.

Nevertheless the 30 min count as a practise.

To stay optimistic I go through my list with points what got better:
- I don't need pain killer anymore.
- I can cough without pain.
- My sleep is better, at least most of the time.
- I can do trikonasana on both sides.

The pose on the picture is only possible on the right side. I hold the foot and not the toe because this gives me more stability. The point of focus are the hips and the strong legs and not the big toe.

Strong legs are so important. With this back pain I feel the difference. When the leg muscles are not engaged the back has to work, too. Strong legs give stability. This is what the standing asanas will teach us: Engage your legs.

90 min asana practise

90 min asana practise and 10 min relaxation are behind me. Yepee I did it. It's the third intensive asana practise in a row. And the performance of the asanas were slightly better than yesterday and the day before yesterday. I cannot say the same about the pain.

I know now that it was not the best decision to stop practicing. Yet the pain demotivated me that much, that I had enough. I preferred to go to bed late. In the morning I preferred to dawdle and to pamper my dear E. Not moving is never an alternative. This I know now. Sooner or later comes the moment where one has to start again. It's easier to keep the ball rolling than to start from a passive position.

My home practises are exercises in the right direction. After the leg behind head poses I stop and do the closing sequence. I set a timer when I do headstand. Today I was not able to hold the pose 2 min. It's OK. I learned to embrace my fate. Life is about exploring the possibilities. Every day.

Yesterday I had another session with the physio therapist. She is great. She recommends exercises for the abdomen. Strong abdomen protect the back. It makes no sense to integrate the exercises with my yoga practise. So there will be an afternoon session. I know that strong abdomen are good.

Again it got all better. I can do trikonasana on both sides. This is something.

Friday primary

Oh yes, I did it. I just checked my SI joint. I don't feel it. This was different when I practiced today. And yesterday evening after a long Photoshop session it even hurt a lot. This is over. Now is the moment. And NOW I feel good.

I read too many books on success. The thought 'only those who give up have lost' guides me. This sentence serves as a mantra. The mantra 'I can' is not so useful as I see that I cannot.

I got stiff, weak and I have this SI issue. These three factors accompany me through my practise with all the consequences. Who cares? I pick me up where I am. Focus is the breath and not the perfect performance of the first series. Even though the breath got worse, too. I often fear that sudden pain comes up. Fear makes me hold the breath. Then I remember myself to breathe and I move on.

Why recovered my SI injury:
1. I can do trikonasana on both sides.
2. I sleep better. I don't wake up from pain when I want to turn around.
3. The physio therapy is no more so painful. And the treatment goes deeper.
4. I don't need pain killer anymore.
5. Often I can stand up from a sitting position without pain. And I can stand up fast.

This is something.

Back to my practise.
I needed 40 min for the sun salutations (I did only four) and the standing asanas. Usually I need 20 min. I move very slowly into every posture because I want to have the correct alignment, but I also fear pain.
I had to omit almost all the vinyasas. I did the counter pose, upward facing dog, when I thought it was necessary.

Hallelujah I practiced. Before breakfast. One hour and 35 min I was on my mat and exercised asanas and deep breathing.